I'VE MADE THIS FOOL PROOF FOR ANYONE WITH NO ARTISTIC ABILITY WHATSOEVER.
YOU DON'T EVEN NEED A PERSONALITY. (MOST ARTISTS ARE TOTALLY DULL. TRUST ME.)
I have even supplied an art wizard. Follow these easy steps. READ THIS FIRST!

1. Get a picture. Your own or a found one. Better go with a found one. You probably can't take a picture, wait a minute, crappy photos are pretty hip. Okay, take a picture of a dog drinking out of the toilet. Either/Or.

2. Put a white square somewhere on that picture. Usually the middle seems to be the most artistic place for some reason. If it's over a face or point of interest, don't worry, that's what you intended. IMPORTANT! Never second guess your work. If someone doesn't like something, say to them, "I believe you are missing my point." Then get away quick, remember you have no idea what you're doing.

3. Get someone to start talking about you and always talk about things you have going on, even if you don't have anything going on. When the phone rings, tell them you're busy doing heavy duty art and that you need to call them back when things aren't so heavy duty.

4. Make friends with other artists. Just to get shows with them.

5. Get a show somewhere.

6. Do something weird. Doesn't have to be totally outrageous. Dress a little on the eccentric side. One glove, a scarf...do you see what I'm getting at? Take a picture of your genitals and draw a mustache on it.

7. Get some people to buy your art. Selling something to someone famous helps.

8. Get in a magazine with your art and get an interview. Get completely drunk and say crazy shit.

9. Have a big show.

10. Date a model and dump her. If you're a woman, date another artist and break his heart and watch him make all this crazy art about you. Then make sure it gets out that all his art is about you. People will want to see what you're all about.

11. Get a book deal.

12. Now all the while do more crazy shit, like "borrow" a car and bring it back and say, "Oops, I thought this was my car. Sorry." Then leave a pair of women's underwear in the passenger's seat. It will get around, trust me.

13. Get back together with the model, dump her again. Go out with one of her friends.

14. Cash in ASAP. There isn't a lot of longevity in art. Let's face it, people get tired of shit real quick. Even great things. Look at Hootie and the Blowfish.

Do all this and then we'll talk about your come back. I have a million ideas for you.
But first make some art! You can't get lazy yet! Click on the white square below next to the picture.